The Brothers Bennett: Update on the Boys

* RONAN *

Our little prince has finally settled in to his new school, new home, new city. It took awhile and I think that's why we saw a lot of frustrated, aggressive behavior a few weeks ago. We felt so unprepared in the discipline department so I bought some books on spirited kids (I like how one of the books describes spirited kids as "the more kids" -- more intense, more sensitive, more perceptive, more persistent, and more energetic than other kids). With time and stronger support from us and his teachers, Ronan started to get more comfortable with his surroundings and his behavior improved dramatically. He almost never hits or kicks now (whew!), instead uttering these adorable phrases when faced with frustration: "I'm very upset, Mommy!" "I don't want to do that, I want to do THIS." "Please can I have three more minutes?"

Preschool progress - I had my first parent-teacher conference at his new school last week and was blown away by the level of engagement and experience of his teachers. For nearly an hour, I sat with three of his teachers and talked about his progress, areas of enjoyment, and particular challenges. They wanted to know Ronan in a deeper, holistic sense so they actually asked about his birth and infancy -- that amazed me! When I told them that Ronan was wide-awake and animated from the second he was born, they all smiled and said "Ah!" The teachers noted Ronan's vivid imagination and love for dramatic pretend play as stand-out characteristics at school. Some of the recent "games" that he's made up or initiated with the other kids are the "Fireman Game" (of course!) and the "Catch the Baby Game," as well as lots of games that involve rescuing people. The teachers also acknowledged his intense emotions. "We call that passion!" said his favorite teacher, Lasana. Ronan's gradually learning to share things, thanks to their guidance, and use language other than "That's mine. I NEED that!" All in all, they think he's doing great and is well on his way to being one of the strong (not just headstrong, ha ha) kids in his class. He's developing friendships now so we're going to set up some playdates for him. And he absolutely adores his teachers. He has a sweet crush on one of the substitute teachers, Neeta, and talks about going camping with her and wanting to "put her baby on her lap and make her happy" (she's pregnant). Very, very sweet.

Triking - His favorite activity at preschool these days is riding the tricycles everywhere. He's so quick and agile that I forget he's only 3. He's outgrown our trikes at home so I guess we'll need to get him a "real" bike with training wheels. Wow!

Memorizing his books - Gone are the days when we could skip portions of stories in the interest of time or laziness. He's able to recite whole stories and knows exactly which words we've left out. And if we change one of the words, or mispronounce it, he'll correct us immediately! Another funny thing he says is, "Read the black things" and he means the author's/illustrator's name on the inside page -- it's usually in black text. Maybe because I'm a writer and I'm always interested in other writers, I've gotten in the habit of telling him who wrote each of his books. Now, when we forget, he demands "Read the black things too!" Clever little kid... keeps us on our toes. ;-)

Pulling "ancient" memories from his brain - Ronan surprises us all the time with the things that he recalls. I don't think I remember anything before age 4. Out of the blue, he'll say things like, "You remember our trip to Canada, Daddy?" or "You remember the Oakland Zoo with the elephants and the train with the broken whistle?" Both of those experiences were a year or so ago...

Ditching the tele - Ronan cut TV out of his life cold-turkey a few weeks ago. We used to not be able to get through one meal without him demanding to watch a show (and I have such mixed feelings about TV in general -- some of it is good for kids and it sure keeps him busy when I'm preparing his dinner or nursing the baby -- but most of it is pretty junky, IMHO). Bizarrely, he doesn't seem remotely interested in the TV now. We're delighted. He plays with his toys, digs in the back yard, and actually has conversations with us. Hallelujah! I'm sure this will change, like all of his phases, but for now, the tele is only on when Mama and Papa watch Lost or Top Gear episodes a couple of times a month.

Phrase of the moment - "I'm going to get you with my magic sword and take you to the helipopter!"

* CALLUM *

Sweet, sweet baby Callum. Our little dove is growing up so quickly. At three months old, he is all smiles, happy baby sounds, wide eyes, and kicking legs. Here's an update on what else this li'l Bennett boy is up to.

Eating - He's been such a good nurser these past three months. I'm still feeding him on demand, which turns out to be every 2-3 hours in the daytime and every 4-6 hours at night. I love our bonding time together and never see it as a drag. It's so sweet to gaze into his deep dark eyes as he drifts off to sleep during a meal. We've finally started him on the bottle. He didn't like the first few tries, but today he guzzled three ounces of breastmilk in just a few minutes and still seemed hungry afterwards! I'm hoping he'll take to the bottle easily for his daytime feedings.

Being happy - Strangely, Callum smiles and coos through diaper changes, baths, breastfeeding, clothing changes, bear hugs from his brother, prods from the preschool kids, and many of his naps. We don't even bother to warm his diaper wipes, and he still thinks it's a fun time.

A new nanny! We hired a nice lady to take care of Callum when Mama returns to work in May. Our hope is that we can get him into the infant program at Ronan's preschool when he turns 6 months so that both boys can be at the same school together. Boy oh boy, nannies are expensive...

Sleeping - Little Bug is starting to fuss more before bedtime even though he's ready to go down for the count at 7 pm. After some crying and rocking, he's down at 8 pm and wakes once or twice to eat during the night. We're wondering if he'll need to be "sleep trained" like Ronan or if he'll learn to soothe himself with minimal drama. In the next month he's going to outgrow his swaddle blanket and he'll need to move to his crib (from the bassinet).... Let's hope his mellow nature makes these transitions bearable!

Growing - Sad to say but he hasn't even worn some of his new baby clothes because he's already too big. I've put away all his 0-6 month clothes and taken out Ronan's 6 - 12 month hand-me-downs. At the same time, I put away Ronan's 3T clothes and I'm stocking up on 5Ts now. I think a great idea would be a baby clothes swap, so if anyone is interested, let me know!

Phrase of the moment - "Ah-ooo."