The Brothers Bennett: October and November for the Bennett Boys

* Ronan *

The past few months Ronan has been a non-stop learning, talking, idea-connecting, joke-making, brother-protecting, loving, laughing, agile, inquisitive soul -- in short, he's been himself, only bigger, better, and faster!

He's thriving at his preschool, which has become a home away from home for our whole family. Christian's on the board, Callum's in the infant room, and I'm the "room parent" for Ronan's and Callum's rooms. The school is such a welcoming place that parents often hang out there for drop-offs and pick-ups, even us harried working parents. It's a big contrast to our SF preschool where the parental vibe was more hectic and rushed. Ronan is one of the youngest kids in his current class, and also one of the tallest. These days he's known on the playground as the leader of the pack of kids that loves dramatic play. When I pick him up from school, he's often playing pirates, chefs (yesterday he "made" cherry pie for the teachers), soldiers, cheetahs, bridge builders, Spiderman, or submarine. One of the cutest games he plays inside the classroom is "whole family," which I gather is akin to "house." He and his little crush Gabi and a few others pretend to be different family members. Gabi is always the mom, Ronan is either the dad or the baby! Ronan and Gabi also play "doctor and patient" (Ronan is the sick patient and Gabi needs to give him a shot); "Prince Eric and the Little Mermaid" (Ronan is unconscious on the ground and Gabi/Ariel needs to rescue him); and "Sleeping Beauty" (Gabi is unconscious on the ground and Ronan/Prince Phillip needs to rescue her). Hilarious. Sweet.

I attended a "kindergarten readiness" talk at the preschool last month and it was one of the most informative hours I've spent recently. I went there expecting to be among aggressive, academics-obsessed parents who want their three-year-olds to read and write perfectly, and was surprised that almost everyone was in the same boat as Christian and me: just wanting our kids to be happy, well-adjusted, and ready to learn and make friends in today's kindergarten. For anyone interested, the speaker (a Palo Alto school administrator) stressed lots of play and lots of social interaction above all else. She said the most important skills for kindergarten are, in order of importance: good motor skills, self-help skills (ability to use the potty, get dressed, hold a pencil, cut with scissors, etc.), self-regulation (paying attention, participating in circle time, playing cooperatively, following directions), social expression (pretend play, showing a curiosity and love of learning, expressing needs), and lastly, "when you have everything else taken care of and you're looking for more to do with your kid," academics (counting, alphabet, colors, shapes, etc.). Play + social skills, not mastery of the alphabet, will lead to a good foundation for kindergarten.

The relationship between Ronan and Callum has grown even closer over the past month. They've always been sweet and loving with each other but now that Callum is mobile (yes! he's crawling!), he has become an even more delightful creature to his big brother. Our pattern every morning is that we wake up with both kids in the bed (how they get there is a longer, more complicated story), awake and playing together. How does a 3.7 year old play with a 10-month-old? They play with Callum's baby toys and with Ronan's Lambie. They play peekaboo with the sheets and pillows. Ronan leans down and Callum plays "drum" on his head, making them both giggle. Ronan lets Callum climb all over him. Ronan helps Callum "not do anything dangerous." Yesterday morning, I woke up to hear Ronan singing his favorite words: "You're my best friend, Callum. I love you."

Ronan's love of books and reading is also going strong. Sometimes we read 10-15 books a day together, which is probably hours of reading!! When he's eating dinner, waiting for anything, using the potty or getting ready for bed, he calls out, "WHO WANTS TO READ THIS TO ME???" If we're too busy (and we often are), he pouts and calls out, "WELL, WHO WANTS TO KEEP ME COMPANY???" This goes on and on until one of us takes a break and reads a book to him and he is happy. On the actual reading front, he's having a lot of fun pointing out letters and asking what all the words say. And he totally surprised us the other night when he wrote his own name on the bathtub with a crayon!!

Ronan is now a nap-free kid for the most part. He stopped napping at school in mid-September, around age 3.5, and honestly, it's been a wonderful thing for our household. When he napped, he often wouldn't go to bed till 10 or 11 at night, with MANY calls to us for various things (potty, water, scared of monsters). Now, he comes home absolutely ravenous for dinner and willingly takes a bath, brushes his teeth, and hops into bed. After books, we snuggle ("Mommy, let's spoon!") for a bit and he's usually asleep within a couple of minutes. At 7:30 pm. It's so wonderful.

But somehow, also in mid-September, he started climbing out of his bed and running down the hall to hop into our bed in the wee hours of the night. This NEVER happened in San Francisco or the first six months of living in Palo Alto. But once started, it has not stopped. It's pitch-dark, there are curves and turns, doors to open, and a big crib to navigate around, but Ronan never makes a sound other than the light, fast pitter-patter of his feet, and suddenly we see him standing at the foot of our bed with his stuffed Lambies. Sometimes it's 1:30 am, usually it's 5. Which is when Callum wakes up and starts making a racket in his crib (right next to our bed). So pretty soon we have both boys in between us, half-sleeping, half-playing, making noise.... I never thought we'd be a co-sleeping family (we never, ever did this with Ronan for his first 3.5 years!!), but here we are. It's sweet and tender and precious. And exhausting. So pretty soon -- maybe when Callum gets over this teething hump -- we're going to try to put both boys in the other bedroom so we can try to get some SLEEP.

Here are some of Ronan's favorite utterances these days:

"We're the leaders, right?"
"I didn't KNOW." (said ultra-seriously, when he thinks he might have done something wrong)
"HEY, wait a second." (said in a very funny, sing-songy way, like a comical detective who just found a clue)
"It was an accident."
"When I grow up, I'm going to be bigger than you. Look at my strong muscles!"
"Do you want to lie with me?"
"Let's spoon, Mommy."
"You're my best friend."
"This is my sword and this is my axe. I'm a soldier!"
"Why do my bones move? What are they made out of? What's inside my skeleton?"
"Where do people go when they die?"
"I have to go PEE-EEP."
"Who wants to keep me company?"
"Who wants to read this to me?"
"Are we eating dead turkey [or fish or meat]?"
"We shouldn't let baby brother touch the fireplace. He's too precious."
"NO, baby brother! Be careful!"
"It IS daytime? It IS today?"
"Is it getting night-time?"
"I'm going to cut your hair short, Mommy, so we can all be boys!"
"How old am I? How come it's taking a long, long time to get to four?"
He's also remembering his dreams. This morning he said: "Mommy, I had a dream about sailors but they were friendly sailors, not pirate sailors. And I was on their boat. And then we jumped into the water but I didn't die because I could breathe. I had a mask and my oxygen tank."

At Arata Pumpkin Farm in October

Our new bike trailer for the kids. Fun!

Handsome boy in the bath

We visited the new California Academy of Sciences with our friends Bryan, Anna, Vasco and Lola in November. An impressive place!

Waiting to get in was never so much fun

The penguin display

The alligator display, which I remember from my visits to the academy when I was a little kid!

What is this? Why, it's Luke Skywalker, Lando Calrissian, and a Storm Trooper stuck in a yellow Porsche. Ronan has a sense of humor, inspired by Daddy.

En garde! Ronan loves swords and pretty much all other weapons.

* Callum *

Callum is now 10 months old and ON THE GO. He learned how to crawl about three weeks ago and he's been non-stop ever since. Every day, he gets faster and bolder and stronger. I forgot how cute this stage is, and how quickly it happens. Ronan did a tummy army-crawl for several weeks before crawling, but Callum just started right away on the normal crawl. He's like a little puppy, racing around the house to find us or, better yet, play with his brother and his toys. We are quickly trying to baby-proof the house, which we're finding a bit hard since Ronan has a lot of cars and games with small parts. What to do with those??

With his new mobility, Callum is also entering a period of heightened frustration when he can't reach something or we take something from his hands. This is new for us. Callum has been so mellow and easy-going these last 9+ months and now he's asserting his independence and making his presence known. My squishy sweetheart is becoming a little lion!

Callum's third tooth is emerging and he's been a little fussy at night-time because of that. He still goes down at 6/6:30 pm, wakes up once or twice crying (but we let him soothe himself usually) and he's up for the day around 5/5:30. He nurses or gets a bottle at school every 3 hours but he's not a big bottle drinker. Ronan would guzzle 6-8 oz at this age, but Callum takes 2-3 oz - that's all!! Even with nursing, he's a quick, light eater. But we know he has a normal intake because he's pooping at least 2 or 3 times a day -- the plumbing is working. :-)

When it come to solid food, Callum loves loves loves it. He eats mostly mashed up food now but we're gradually introducing more chunky finger foods. Callum likes food so much he tries to grab it off of the older kids' plates at school - pretty funny.

As for napping, Callum has been taking one short nap in the middle of the day at school -- an hour or maybe an hour and a half if we're lucky. On weekends, we can get him to nap twice if we try really hard!

Mama and Callum at school

Early reader

Callum in the headlights, with a Care Bear (?) and a baby

Callum and his buddy Sofia at school

Callum's teachers Suji (left) and Dora (middle), and Callum's friends Sofia and Rachel

Teacher Dora with Sofia, Rachel and Callum at snack time

I think this picture is really funny... Callum's got this mischievous grin, his hair is long and dishelveled, he's got food all over his shirt, and I guess we forgot socks that day because his teachers put on some girls' socks to keep his feet warm.

Daddy and Callum on the back deck

We were happy to have Christian's aunt Kathie come visit us in late October! Kathie hit it off right away with the boys, reading lots of books to Ronan and cuddling a pre-crawling Callum.