The Brothers Bennett: Springtime already

Every year as we get ready for Ronan's birthday I'm shocked that it's spring already. This year, with all our transitions, it's even more surprising to me. Seems like just yesterday I was huge at Christmas, then wrapping things up at work in the new year, then giving birth on a drizzly late January afternoon... And now I look out our window as I type this, with Callum dozing in my lap, and see sunshine, blue sky, and spring already in bloom in our new suburban (gasp!) neighborhood.

A lot has been going on with the boys (obviously). Here's an update.

* CALLUM *

Well, what can I say. Callum is almost 2 months old and a mellow, happy little boy so far. Having him join our lives added a sizable amount of care and responsibility, for sure, but he's been such a laid-back little person that he's blended into our family rather seamlessly.

Sleeping - At around 5 weeks, he fell naturally into a 3-nap-a-day pattern - 9 am, 12 noon, 3 pm. I can't believe we haven't had to "train" him to nap regularly! We swaddle him at night and he sleeps cozily in his Pack'n'Play, waking to feed briefly about twice a night. At this age, Ronan was awake most of the day and I remember wondering what kinds of entertaining and stimulating activities I should do with him. Callum sleeps so much that I feel like I'm talking to myself all day.

Eating - He's a pretty mellow eater, not fussing too much at the breast. I haven't started pumping yet so I'm not sure what my milk supply is like but it's probably less than with Ronan, who was a (darling) barracuda. Despite his mellowness, Callum manages to eat VERY loudly. We call him the Noisy Nurser. Every nursing session is filled with grunts, slurps, squeaks, and coughs, even when he's fast asleep! He's like a little snorting bear cub in the middle of the night. Plus, he chokes and gags and spits up a lot, so our feedings are quite messy. Still, he seems happy and he's definitely becoming a chunky guy. Lots of rolls and jowls. We'll try to start him on the bottle (once a day) soon to get him used to it.

Playing - OK, he doesn't really play, but he does sit there and coo and smile at us a lot! He loves making eye contact and trying to "talk" to us with his adorable coos, gahs, goos, and ohhs. He also endures Ronan's BIG affection with grace and tolerance. Callum rarely cries except in the evenings when he's tuckered out and in his car seat when he's bored or lonely.

* RONAN *

Ah, Ronan... our passionate, intense, adorable, and headstrong first-born. We are in love with him, and learning so much about parenting from our experience with him. It's an interesting stage that he's in right now, as he enters his fourth year. He's every bit a boy, full of wild energy and a quest for fun and knowledge. He's just as persistent and demanding as he is tender and sensitive. He's still relatively innocent, but he's picked up some ideas and behaviors recently that are questionable and no doubt unavoidable -- the concept of guns, being "bad," being physical when he's mad (i.e., hitting, pushing), and talking back to us. When people told me that boys like to (perhaps need to) test the limits, I didn't really know what that meant. We're definitely learning now!

Socializing - Ronan started at his new preschool, The Learning Center (TLC), last Monday. We feel lucky to have gotten a spot in this school since it's a great program, has very committed, long-term teachers, and it's only 2 blocks from our new home! I walk him to and from school everyday and it's such a convenience and a treat. Ronan's class has about 15 kids, aged 2.5 to 4. Most are part-time students so it feels even smaller and more intimate. We're relieved that the school is in such calm, residential surroundings after six months of braving CRAZY traffic at our SF preschool (harrowing dropoffs and pickups amid lots of impatient drivers!). Other great points about TLC: they provide healthy, mostly organic lunches and diapers for the "non-toilet-learned" (yes, that's Ronan). We think Ronan's doing remarkably well with the transition. He's always been a very independent little boy, happy running around and doing activities on his own or with adults, but this smaller school environment may help him engage socially more with the other kids. His biggest challenges at school at the moment are SHARING (he is one possessive little bug) and LEAVING school -- he tends to have a meltdown at the end of the day and acts positively outraged that we're "taking him away" from school. *Sigh*

Power struggles and adapting to change - We're in the midst of Ronan's "Let me do it!" and "Stop that! I don't like that!" stage and sometimes it feels like every single thing is a struggle, from brushing teeth to getting in the bath to getting out of the bath to sitting down for a meal. We're finally learning that transitions in general are really hard for Ronan. We know change isn't easy for everyone, but I think he's particularly sensitive to loss, whether it's an item that's being "taken away" or an activity that's ending. We're not sure why this is. Maybe it's a phase all 3-4 year-olds go through? Maybe it's his temperament? As he gets older, he's becoming much more physical -- and strong. One of his recent behaviors is kicking and hitting us when he's upset. It's never very hard, but it's irritating and confusing for us because we know he's actually a very sweet boy who happens to be so frustrated that he's using his body to vent. We ALSO know we need to curb this behavior, but how? Seems like our choices are: 1) try to reason with him (but reasoning with a frustrated 3-year-old may be futile), 2) model the preferred behavior and ignore his outbursts, 3) talk with him about the emotions he's feeling that are leading him to want to hit and kick, 4) scold him, or 5) give him a nice swat on the derriere. (Note: We've never been supporters of spanking, but there are definitely times when we are tempted...)

For now, we're going to try to talk with him about his feelings, listen to him, and help him use his words more than his might.

Creating - It's not all challenge with Ronan, of course. He's more fun and imaginative than almost anyone we know! For the past year, he has delighted in reading stories with us and then making up his own wacky, crazy, funny stories. Some of his creations include:
- He convinced his old preschool class that there were leprechauns hiding in the grass and so all 12 kids went hunting for leprechauns... and the funny thing is they actually caught some.
- He still re-enacts the Polar Express at least once a week, and begs us to make up new stories about Ronan and the Polar Express. Sometimes he plays two characters having a conversation -- he'll ask and answer the questions and it's just so cute. One of his favorite lines is: "Well, you comin'? No. To the North Pole, of course! This is the Polar Express!"
- At his new school, the children created a big train out of boxes and they all hopped on the "train." Ronan said, "Look! There's someone in the water -- we need to rescue him!" and threw out a "rope" to help him. Soon all the kids were throwing imaginary ropes and lifesavers right and left to save all the people stranded in the water.
- When he doesn't know the answer to something, he says, "Let's play Blues Clues to find out. Let's Blue Skidoo and ask."
- He's getting more and more interested in dramatic pretend play. He likes to play Daddy and makes Christian play Ronan. Funny how he doesn't play Mommy...
- He still wants to touch and kiss his baby brother every chance he gets!

Here are some pics: